February 27, 2023 | Caleb Mangesho BK ‘26

In mourning, “good” meant showing emotion, but not too much. “Good”, irrational as it seemed, meant keeping my naked grief to myself. So I let my sadness settle into an open resentment of God, this savior who left me to suffer alone in the darkest moment of my life, and the people around me who encouraged me to follow Him. I wouldn’t let myself be loved. I came to Yale sure that God and his love would wither away like a rose, pretty in the summer, dead in the winter.